Vocabulary Variances

As an avid reader, I come across a lot of new and self-published authors. I actually prefer to read books from new authors, as I am one of them. In fact, I am on the last of a trilogy that has a great storyline, interesting and relatable characters, and fantastic descriptions. I’ve read all three books in the last week, and each of these books has the problem we’re going to discuss today. I’ve only kept reading them because everything else is so well done.

Something that I’ve noticed that newer authors have in common is their lack of imagination when it comes to vocabulary. A favorite facial expression is “smirked.” I don’t want to get into which books I’ve been reading lately (but you can find out on Goodreads), and I’m not here to bash the authors. The goal here is to help other writers be aware of what their word choices do to their writing. The book I’m currently reading is 699 pages, and the words “smirk” or “smirked” appears 32 times. I’m not a mathematician, but just typing that makes it seem a low occurrence over the course of the book. However, it has appeared enough to spur this blog post. It’s noticeable, sometimes irritating, but mostly boring. Why can’t the characters snigger, leer, simper, grin, look coy, giggle, chortle, titter, laugh, snicker, or beam?

Scientists claim there are 21 different facial expressions, although I think there’s more. Those 21 facial expressions can be described in a myriad of ways. Use them all. Make your characters relatable and real by employing a variety of emotions, expressions, gestures, and habits. Make your story interesting and engaging by showing off your power over words.

Some steps to ensure you are maximizing your vocabulary usage:

  1. Know your audience. Really, this is the first step for any writing. But don’t use jargon specific to Italy if your audience is from Africa, at least not without explaining it first. Don’t use respiration instead of breathe if your audience is 5-7 year olds. Choose your words wisely.
  2. Read through your story a few times, and make note of any words that appear frequently. Make a list or highlight them. Do not rely on your memory.
  3. Use the find feature on your program and search for those words. It will usually give you a number indicating how many instances appear in the document.
  4. Determine if the word should be changed for definition or just frequency. As we all know, some words have multiple meanings, so a dog barked up a tree, the commander barked an order, and I barked my shins on the table. Too many barked in the story? Maybe.
  5. Use your judgement to determine if the word needs to be changed. If you notice that your character only grins and never scowls or looks bored, make some adjustments.
  6. Ask a friend or editor (like me) to read it through just for recurring words/phrases that might get tedious.
  7. Invest in a good thesaurus. Yes, the online ones are useful but sometimes having an actual book in your hands is easier as you don’t have to go from your writing program to the internet and potentially get sidetracked from the job at hand.

My last piece of advice is more for the readers. If you read a book that could use some more creative phrasing, leave a helpful review on Amazon or Goodreads. Most authors or their agents read the reviews from time to time. Try to keep it constructive, and include some positive aspects as well as the negative. If you feel particularly strongly about the book, you can even reach out to the author through their webpage, Amazon, or Goodreads via the contact form.

Above all, keep working and writing!


NaNoWriMo 2016 is here!

I’ve been really focused on my school and family life the last few months. I also traveled a bit, and enjoyed spending time with some lovely women I call Sisters. It was refreshing to be able to chat with women who not only relate to my spirituality, but also support me in the best way – by holding space. Now that I’m back from that beautiful trip, and my children’s extra-curricular sports have all ended until next season, I feel (mostly) ready insane to take on National Novel Writing Month this year.

I just started week 2 of my 8 week term in college, and this time I’m going full time. I am trying to push my Young Living Distributor business to new heights. I am still working at the chiropractic clinic 15-25 hours a week, depending on patient flow. And I can’t just ignore my family to write, so there’s that joyful obligation too.

Am I totally crazy? Probably. But I know myself well enough to know I need a push. I need a deadline and real tangible way to track my progress. Mostly I need to get back in the habit of writing daily for me, instead of writing school discussion posts and essays. If I don’t write every day, I won’t win. And I love to win! It’s all motivation disguised as stress disguised as pleasure.

If you’ve jumped on the writing train for NaNoWriMo, I’d love to have you as a writing buddy! Lets keep each other motivated and writing, despite all the busy-ness of life.

The Future of Art

This is a little short story that I submitted to this year’s Idaho Writers League contest. It started as a quick write about a dystopian society where you must be productive to live. My original story was about Adam trying to escape the country. This one is about his sister. Let me know what you think! 

Looking out over the city, Amber compared what she was seeing with the photos on her Vu-pad. The hilltop was covered with lush, green grass while strategically placed benches and trees allowed one to pause and enjoy the beauty of Newtown. Amber sat on one such bench, her drawing kit next to her. She wanted to sketch how the city looked two hundred years ago and then overlay it with the current view.

Two hundred years ago, Newtown was called Houston. It was a vast and sprawling city, with towering buildings and hundreds of miles of paved roads that overlapped each other in a tangled mess. In the photograph, Amber could see vehicles crawling on the highways and smog hanging in the air. She was taught in school that this picture was taken right before the Great Purge when the pollution and garbage were at their worst. That was when the government changed the regulations and required that everything uses renewable energy and have little to no waste products. The Great Purge took place over a period of twenty years, and the structure of the government also changed. Instead of having a president, senate, and congress, the Commonwealth now consisted of the President, the Bureau, and the Councilors.

Sighing, Amber brought her attention back to the scenery and pulled out a sketch pad. The paper alone cost almost an entire paycheck, but she felt it was worth it. With quick, sure strokes of the pencil, Amber began to draw the city in front of her. Several minutes went by, and she found the in-between space where nothing existed but her pencil moving over the paper. The sudden sharp tone of her comm-unit startled her, and she put the drawing aside to look at the message that scrolled across on the screen.

“Ms. Amber Jaydine Austin: You are hereby summoned to the Court of Society where you will explain your chosen profession and how it benefits the city. Please present yourself in one hour.”

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Friendships in Writing

Originally published August 25, 2015, by me on my other blog, which is in the middle of a transition.

A few days ago, I was getting ready to leave for 10 days to see some friends I have in Texas. This is my 3rd annual trip, and I’m really looking forward to it. I get to see my bestest best friend for a few days, then spend some time reconnecting and learning with my Sisters of the Sisterhood of Avalon. Over the last week, I’ve been thinking about the friendships I have. This past year has seen some of my friendships wax and wane, and one go out all together.

We all have different levels of friendships and some of those friends may feel they are at a different level with you than you are with them. Wait, did that make sense? Let me say it this way: I may feel one way about a relationship, while that person may feel that the relationship is something else.

I’m not going to analyze my various friendships for you. I know where everyone stands with me, and I usually try to make sure they know where they stand with me too. Sometimes that doesn’t happen, usually because the other person is thick headed and I’m trying really hard not to hurt their feelings.

For me, the different levels of friendships include the Best Friend, the Good Friend, the Old Friend, the Casual Friend, the Group Friend and the Acquaintance. I don’t want to go too in depth about what each category is, but they are listed in order from “most likely to tell a secret to” to the least. Some of these have sub-levels, but that’s not important for right now.

When you’re writing – whether fiction or non-fiction – you need to keep in mind the level of friendship someone has with the person they’re interacting with. For example, a character (let’s call her Mary) is talking to her best friend, Beth. Mary tells Beth all about her date including the details of the dinner and the goodnight kiss (maybe even a bit too much detail?). Later on, when Mary is talking to her casual friend Amy, a lot of the details are left out and the date goes from amazing and romantic over chicken parmesan to pretty nice and how was your day.

Don’t allow your characters to give up too many secrets or details to friends who aren’t at the top of their list. At the same time, allow all relationships to change. Maybe a casual friend becomes a good friend when they’re in a car accident together. They now have a bond that might not exist in other friendships. Flip that around, and a good friend who betrays your character suddenly becomes a casual friend or even an enemy. There are different levels of enemies too, but that’s a discussion for a different day.

What do you think? Did I leave out any important friendship levels?